because there's nothing I've finished.

So, finish some stuff.

You can do what a lot of people do, find a job that pays the bills while you work on your skills and projects for the industry you want to be in. I did everything from manual labouring, to bouncing, to office cleaning before breaking into IT, but when I finally did I did so fully qualified with work to show.

Give yourself advantages, don't set yourself up for failure.

All the jobs I want to apply for want an application. I tried to ask for an internship but it ends up with "send us an application, we will look into it."

Well, yes. I'm not really sure how else you'd expect it to work?

My application is shit. I cannot show exactly what I did, because there's nothing I've finished.

Focus on what you did - you mention having done some paid work. Get descriptions of that on your CV, what you did, what skills you used and who you did it for. Contact some of the companies that you say "respect" you and see if they would be willing to provide references to this effect. If you're not sure whether your application/CV is any good or not then get a friend or family member to check it over and give you some pointers. Heck, there's usually someone kicking around in Workplace Chat who will be happy to give it a once over for you.

I thought about creating a creative application with photoshops or some graphics

If you're applying to a creative/design position then this can be useful. Anything else don't - nothing screams "I'm trying to distract you from my flimsy application" quite like graphics and other fripperies.

I wanted to apply with a website but there I would use a bought template.

If you're using a website to showcase your creative/design skills I'd avoid using a template.

How can I apply in the best way? Does it sound bad if I tell the employer that in the last years I did nothing professionally but that I am ready to learn new things?

It depends on the position you're applying for - everyone has to "start" somewhere so there are entry level jobs where there isn't the same expectation of having experience. In these cases "I am ready to learn new things" is exactly the right attitude!

Regarding "I did nothing professionally" while it might not feel like it you have. You mention some paid design/development work, even your family business venture counts! So rather than saying "I've done nothing" say something like:

After school I joined a family business that unfortunately was unsuccessful and I've been doing some freelance work since then but I'm really keen to grow and develop that into a career using those skills so I'm very motivated to learn and develop my skills.

Success in getting entry level jobs is at least 50% showing the right mindset!

And should I also go for "higher jobs"?

With all kindness I have to say no. The higher level the job the more likely companies are to want to be seeing some pretty substantial evidence that you've got experience and can do what they need. The rewards are greater certainly but so is the expectation and it just doesn't sound like you are there yet.

Regarding the depression

This isn't really something we can help with here at The Workplace SE but I didn't want to just ignore it - depression royally sucks and can have an inordinately crippling effect on your ability just to get through the day. But you aren't alone and it's not your fault and it can be treated/beaten, see your doctor, see a counselor, do both and above all cut yourself some slack and be nice to yourself.

Hope things start looking up for you soon!

Your low self confidence and harsh self-criticism are results of your abusive family

Look at your language when talking about your family:

Well I decided to try my, or let's say our, own way

This is a red flag. There should be a clear boundary between what's 'my' way and what's 'our' way. It sounds like those two were entangled in the past. I'm glad they aren't anymore and you are starting to think about leaving.

I was bound into the family

Your family is holding you back.

I also received no money "because the family needs it"

Your family is not treating you well.

live in a small space where I'm extremely stressed

Your family is not healthy for you.

get to bed sometimes crying because I feel overwhelmed

Where is your family when that happens? Are they concerned about you? Are they helping you? They should be holding you when you cry. If they are not, then they are not being family to you at all. If they never have, and they never will, then don't try to fix them. Just leave.

Partly because of family issues and I partly problems with depression and worse, which makes it even harder (but I don't want to get deeper into this)

You must get deeper into this if you want to solve the confidence, the harsh self-criticism, and the never finishing projects.

So I am thinking to accept "any job" to get my own apartment and from there on continue my life.

Do it. And start reading as much as you can about abusive and neglectful families. When possible you will eventually benefit from severing the unhealthy relationships you have with your family. It doesn't necessarily mean no-contact, but you should focus on gaining independence from them and keeping them at a healthy distance.

how can I overcome having low self confidence? When there's an opportunity, I always tell myself that I am too bad for it, they will find better guys and I cannot do this job or I do not have enough qualities for this. I really get nervous thinking about working at a job and not being good enough and then maybe even getting fired.

These are all results of emotionally abusive parenting. I can recommend books that may help you heal from this. Specifically you might want to look for books on CPTSD.

My email address is listed in my Stack Exchange profile page. I am being serious when I say that if you email me, I will send you a copy of the book that helped me.

Hello and welcome to the workplace!

I have been in your place before (sort of).

When I moved to the UK I did so alone, I stayed at a family friend's house for 3 weeks but then it was time to move. Moved into a room in a shared house and eventually into a flat and now into a house.

Things take time, take one step at a time and don't worry about the rest.

My first job in the UK was in a factory, it took me some time to get into customer service as I was branded as a factory worker as that was my first job. I have recently (2 years ago) moved into IT through internal applications and I am now working as a business analyst.

As you can see, things can be achieved, but you have to break it down into processable chunks.

For what you mentioned your first priority is leaving alone so:

1 - Get a job anywhere! - Use agencies, local businesses, fastfood chains.
Keep a steady income from your workplace and move out.

2 - Move out! - No this is a tricky one. You want to go into IT so you will need to use most of your disposable income in training/certification for you to achieve this. Budget, budget, budget. Check how much you can safely pay each month for acommodation + expenses. Ensure you can always safe at least 10% of your income for a "rainy day" fund and still have some disposable income to use for the courses.

3 - Set yourself goals! - Set a goal of how long until you sign up for a MCSA or Comptia certification course. Set a goal for what your salary needs to be to sustain your lifestyle + further certificates (which are usually pricier than the entry level ones).

4 - apply for support jobs, apply for anything that has any sort of IT component in the title or specification. Use all the interviews as training sources so that when the job you REALLY want shows up, you know how to behave.

5 - (possibly should be number 2) Find a hobby! If you struggle with depression being alone might not be the best if all you do everyday is work. Find a hobby that makes you stretch. This can be anything from gaming (TCG like magic the gathering are great for this) or indie game development and anything in-between.

That is my 2c piece of advice regarding your job position. Regarding the depression and personal problems, please seek professional help. All of this means nothing if you are not happy nor enjoy life.

You might want to try some accredited courses in the field that you want to work. This is if you are set on a specific field and somewhat sure that you want to pursue a certain career, because this would mean a couple of months when you just learn, not earn any money and also have to pay for the courses. During this time you could get "any job" to cover the costs (I believe most jobs are paid decently in Germany). This could help you build a better CV even if the school system failed to teach you marketable skills. It's never too late to change your career direction, if you're willing to learn.

About being afraid to apply or not being good enough at your job after you get it, this is something most people experience at the start of their career. What you need to focus on here is that it's the company's job to decide if you're good enough and it's your duty to apply no matter what if you desire that position (and be truthful in your CV). After that, if they select you and despite you doing your best, you are still not up to the tasks, it's their recruiting process that failed. Good luck!

Your first problem is money and living space, so fix those. Get a job at Aldi's if you have to - but get a job. Then find a place to live. Somewhere cheap, 'roommate needed', whatever.

Then, spend time working on your own website, and design work, and whatever else you can. For pay if you can find it, for yourself if you can't; but that's how you get a portfolio going.

I graduated college with a useless degree during an economic downturn, and failed to find a job for months. Eventually I found a job working at a bookstore, and spent about five years there working my way up - proving my customer service and management skills.

Finally, I managed to find a position doing what I should've gone to college for in the first place - programming/development - and have been happily employed in that field, making plenty of money, ever since.

The key was to start with a job, though, instead of holding out for the perfect job (that I wasn't really qualified for either) - just finding a job. Once you have a job, you can do the rest in your own time; and if it takes five years of working at Aldi's, well, at least your meals will be cheap.

First of all, you DO have experience, just not in the industry you want to join.

...AND you have multiple issues to tackle.

• decision between work or education


• decision between unemployment, employment and self employment


• financing a new appartment


• financing daily living

You have numerous support systems in Germany.
(i.e. "Sozialhilfe", "Hartz IV", "BAföG", "Bundesagentur für Arbeit")

A logical step many take, would be to gain a degree or profession("Beruf") in the industry you're interested to join.

Most schools ("Fachhochschule", "Berufsschule", "Universität", "Abendschule") in Germany are free or cheap and you have "BAföG" to help finance your education and living expenses if you're eligible, as will "Sozialhilfe" and "HartzIV".

The "Bundesagentur für Arbeit" will also help you to find educational courses or jobs in addition to financial support while looking.

Another possibility, if your capabilities are good enough is to just become self employed within the industry you want to work in.

You can be a freelancer or a company providing their service.

• Upside is, no CV and no education or experience necessary (provided it's not a protected industry).




• Downside is, as you already experienced, you need to find clients and sell yourself / the company, the business needs to be maintained and you don't always have enough income.

You also have the option to take on work that pays the bills (full- / part-time, mini-job) and finish an education and / or your projects in your free time, which leads me to

The CV and demo projects.

That work you did while being a partner in a company should be in your CV, including the fact that you were a founding member if I understood cortectly.

Include also bookkeeping, managing, office work etc. if you performed them, not just the primary work you did for the company.

As for industry specific experience, attempt to finish one, maybe two of your projects.

Pick those that will demonstrate your main interests the best.

Keep it simple though!

Something you can finish in a week or two, a month at most.

A note about the own apartment.

If you really want to break free from your parents household and live on your own, apply for "Sozialhilfe" and potentially "Hartz IV" (if you were employed by your / your parents company or paid into the system while self employed".

If you want to look for an appartment yourself rather than relying on the "Sozialamt" to designate one that might not be in an area where you'd like to live or in general not to your liking, look for small, cheap 1 bedroom places (around 400-500€) that they should accept to cover, at least partially for one person.

If you can keep living at home, with relatives or friends, I would recommend it, as you obviously save a lot of money, not just for rent but also in groceries and utility bills.

Another note:

You don't have to use these governmental bodies like "Agentur für Arbeit" and "Sozialamt" if you'd rather rely in yourself.

That "just" means, you'll have to find income to provide for your living expenses and rent / utilities if you get your own place until you finished your studies or created those demo projects for your CV.

You also can apply for internships or try to find an "Ausbildungsplatz" to learn at the company. Many will take you on as employee afterwards if you're good and they need to fill positions.

...and a last note:

You seem to have good english skills.

That opens up the whole world to find a company to work at.

Europe, especially th U.K. is the easiest choice if you're a EU citizen but other countries like Canada, the U.S. or Australia and New Zealand are great choices as well.

Countries with other languages should be fine too but you're limited to companies that accept english / non native language speakers.

Although I'm not based in Germany, I experienced a similar situation where companies were particularly critical of applications (often with the catch-22 of 'you need experience to get experience') and equally as dismissive of apprenticeships (in my experience they just did a fast turnover to get cheap labour and preferred younger candidates).

The problem is: My application is shit. I cannot show exactly what I did, because there's nothing I've finished.

Gain experience by doing volunteering

If there's a specific sector of work you want to get into, the easiest way to gain experience and overcome the hurdle of 'need experience to get experience' is to do volunteering in the charity sector in a job similar to the area you're interested in. For example, I did IT work for an animal rescue shelter.

Although the work is unpaid, you'll be getting several things in return; experience to put on your CV, references, and even social contacts.

Charities are less picky than corporations when it comes to applications, because of course, the work is free. Note that there is an uptick in volunteering so there might be some declinations, but persist.

Once you gain sufficient experience, you can use volunteering as a foot in the door to get a paying job.

How can I apply in the best way?

Personalise your applciations

Whether it's the cover letter or the CV. Learn about the company you want to apply for, and modify your CV to list only skills that are relevant to the job. Omission of data isn't dishonest, either - you're saving the interviewer important time by narrowing to only the facts they would be interested in.

I got more interview offers with custom CVs and letters than I did with boilerplate sendouts.

Does it sound bad if I tell the employer that in the last years I did nothing professionally but that I am ready to learn new things?

Focus on the positives, or what you've learned

You should just say you're eager to learn things. Avoid mentioning negatives about yourself. Regarding any 'failures', they're not failures - they're learning experiences. Focus on what you learned from it. If something went wrong, what did you learn from it? What will you do differently next time?

And should I also go for "higher jobs"?

Keep it realistic

Your application might not be suitable for netting higher jobs - yet. You should aim for lateral job prospects, which means you start off in a job less relevant to your skills, but within the company, you demonstrate the skills for the job role you want.

I was once offered a web development role after applying for a cleaning job (as I had hinted at having web dev skills), and in another role I was promoted from a temporary job role to fixed term because of my demonstrated IT skillsets (which were demo'd whilst working at the company).

One way to do this is to show any interesting side projects that you've done at home in your free time to your manager if you feel they're might be receptive to it. Obviously, don't share anything you not okay with the company taking for themselves.

And how can I overcome having low self confidence?

It'll come with time

You'll naturally start to overcome some of it when you see your work being valued by others, for example, at a charity or within an organisation. I think at the moment you're seeing all these false signals that make you think you're worthless (like 'agh, my CV has gaps in it!') but in truth everyone has been through an empty CV at some point, and you'll gain that confidence with time.

Focus on small steps

Break any problems down into the smallest unit possible, and then try to solve that problem. With small steps, eventually everything else will start to fall into place.

And I wanted to add, for the record, you're not a loser, you're a human being like the rest of us. Don't feel like mistakes define you, everybody makes mistakes. The way to win is to learn at much as you can from them.