Cfrgtkky

You probably somewhat realise this yourself but

He's not on my immediate scrum team, so it could be safe to just stay
out of this completely.

Is completely correct. It might offend your sense of fairness that he keeps getting away with it, but from a strictly you standpoint, raising the issue in any way is disadvantageous.

1. Many people will question why you go around poking in people's private lives.


2. You can be as convinced as you want, but not everything is as it first seems. I don't know your specific details, but even things like stories not adding up and stock photos could have other, legitimate explanations.


3. No good for you will come of this.

For the reasons above, I'd advise to stay out of it. If it's really that obvious that it doesn't add up, a higher up will catch on to it someday.

As someone who doesn't have kids, and as someone who finds how a lot of companies bend over backwards for those with kids quite unfair, I can see how this dishonesty manifests itself.

Though, this is technically not your issue to deal with.

I'm glad you are being honest about it pissing you off. It would piss many people off, and I don't think people realise that this also needs to be resolved. It may be quite difficult to watch people you respect being lied to.

You need to distinguish fraud, where the employee gets a company sanctioned benefit, where you may have an ethical obligation to inform your employer, and just peer-dishonesty, which is not actionable by your employer.

I think your first step should be to even the playing field, and ask for the same benefits that he is getting. If everyone starts asking for extra time off, management will have to publish a policy regarding who can claim these benefits and what is required for proof.

Don't guess what he really gets up to. The comment about computer games is irrelivant.

If you do feel inclined to raise this with management, I would do so anonymously. And yes, I personally would consider letting your coworkers know anonymously if nothing is done and the behaviour doesn't change. Though I fully understand if me saying such things will get this answer a torrent of down-votes.

Whatever you decide to do, your motivations need to be on stopping the dishonesty, and not trying to get the employee punished for it, as much as you want to.

He's not on my immediate scrum team, so it could be safe to just stay out of this completely

Yes, not your business, I'd stay out of this and steer clear of any involvement whatsoever.

But I do feel like I have somewhat of an obligation to the org and the company to let the truth be known so that he stops taking advantage of his teammates.

Unless you are responsible for managing him, once again, not your business.

People in HR should have a more accurate information about your colleage's family, since they need to know what benefits he's entitled to and that depends on the number of children. So, if he's not hiding his play from the HR, it's likely that he does have kids despite what you've seen. Or, he's committing fraud which goes well beyond fake family photos, and your observations are not solid enough to be an acceptable evidence in this case.

If you see that he's hiding this from the HR, there are many practical jokes you could pull out, but those jokes can always backfire if you end up being wrong or are not careful.

Usually when you find out that someone has serious mental problems you do your best to stay out of their issues and make sure they don't get upset at you.

Some busybody will probably eventually pop the bubble, the chaps mentally unstable, no idea where that will go.... best to mind your own business.

I am a father and I do have pictures of my kids at my office. If I thought one of my colleagues was crazy, I might replace the pictures with stock photos to protect their privacy.

There is a reason, elementary schools will only release the children to their known parents and not to "grandparents", "aunts", "uncles", "best friends" and "work colleages".

He is often taking time off of work to...

Most employers give time off of work as a benefit without constraints about how that time can be used. He's using that benefit.

There may be a reason for his story that you don't know about. I'm not going to go so far as the other answers and say it's mental instability. The bottom line is that unless the amount of time your co-worker takes off, something he's doing while off or the fact that he's made up a story about it is having some material effect on the business, it's not the company's concern and it certainly isn't yours.

If you raise the issue, there may be repercussions, and there certainly wont be a reward.

Therefore, if you really want to raise the issue, do so anonymously:

• Get a one off gmail account.


• Gather anonymous evidence of coworker making up verifiable lies regarding kids, wife.


• Remove all metadata from any attached files/images.


• Stick to the facts, even if it means you have to let go some of the claims you want to make. "He takes the time off to go home and play video games." is the kind of thing that has no place in this email.


• Have a friend rewrite the email to remove "tells". Your personal style of writing will remove your anonymity.


• Never use the one off gmail account to send an email again. Do not read any response the business sends you to that one off gmail account. There's nothing useful they are allowed to tell you in a response.

Informing the business about your concerns is the secondary reason for sending this. The primary reason is to provide closure. If nothing happens afterwards, you are now assured the company knows and accepts your coworkers actions, having more information than you do.

Finally, who should you send it to? You do not know the whole story, so sending it to all his teammates or even the entire company will be inappropriate. I suggest sending the email to the following 3 people:

• Direct superior of coworker.


• Lowest level HR person who's responsible for coworker.


• Highest level HR person in the company.

If you want to use a minimal version:

I'm troubled by 'John Smith's use of stock photos which he shows around the office, falsely claiming they are actual images of his wife and children. It damages my ability to trust him, which impedes my ability to work with him. See attached images.

Sincerely, A concerned employee.

This question makes me wonder what kind of environment would it take to propel people to ...

1. Feel they need to create the illusion of being a family man in
   order to get a little extra free-time for themselves, and more donuts.




2. Get upset about someone doing that to the point where one
   considers it a type of fraud that needs to be exposed and punished.

Assuming the OP's story is real, I can't imagine anyone feeling anything other than pity for the coworker and the OP.

To answer the question, before it gets closed: Do nothing. Leave the poor guy alone and try to be more tolerant and less judgmental. It will make you feel better and also you will avoid appearing petty if you complain about this behavior.

While he may not be in your team, and the products you create can be fully independent, what his behavior does is damage the future of actual fathers in the company that might really need to take the time off to care for kids.

A lot of countries do not provide much of benefits, like leaving home early and such, for fathers, so these often have to be based on mutual agreement between the father and company.

If the company finds out he has done it for a long time by a coincidence, they might look down on future requests for some time off to take care of a child by actual fathers.
Not to mention that is he is getting paid for the time off, it is actual stealing of company's money - people get paid to work.

However, as couple viable reasons and possible problems have been mentioned in answers, like him being under witness protection act, undercover agent or other personal reasons known to management, I would proceed very carefully from here.
If you want to keep it nice - try to get to know him better, make yourself 100% sure that he does not have a family, ask about the photos in neutral way - "Nice, got yourself a wife that's a model? That photo still has a watermark of the company" etc.

If all the things actually add up, tip it anonymously to management, for the sake of people that will actually need those benefits.

If you truly want this person exposed then a proper investigation is in order. The best option you have to see that happen is drop an anonymous tip with HR, along with a list of your evidence, and hope they take it from there. That would also be a good time to drop it. After all if they aren't pursuing the fraud being perpetrated against them then something else is going on.